This is an older little rant/ personal talk about how I feel about being super ambitious, combined with many other traits. I hope you enjoy, maybe some of you can relate? Let me know in the comments!
Ambitious – adjective
having or showing a strong desire and determination to succeed.
Most people would think being ambitious is a blessing. I think at times it can be an amazing blessing to have, but other times not.
For me, being ambitious is always thinking about my future, like what I’m going to do with my life. While school is mostly to blame for this, because they are constantly reminding us that college is just a few years away and we need to know what we want to do with our life,(As of 2020 I am currently in my freshman yr of college) I have my own conflicts that come with being ambitious. When you combine an ambitious trait with an anxiety one, it can get pretty messy.
Often, I have thoughts of what I’m going to do if I don’t succeed in school, or just life in general, but on the opposite I have dreams and thoughts of what I’m going to do when I get out of school, like buying a house, or my dream job.
While it’s good to have a backup plan in case everything blows up in my face, it lowers my self-esteem really fast. In just a span of an hour of thinking, I feel worse than I did when I started thinking. On the other hand, however, when anxiety isn’t kicking in, I feel like I can proficiently plan for my future, however it leads to so much overthinking. Overthinking is my favorite thing to do, from simple things, like conversations I’ve had in the past, to questions on an exam. I feel like my mind is constantly in motion.
On to my next issue, Is I get so many ideas of things I want to do constantly. Take blogging for an example. I want to become a somewhat good blogger that people know about, but then I also want to create a video game. The list goes on and on.
Lately I’ve found that writing my ideas down helps a bit, but I keep overloading myself with things I want to do, and with school starting back up here in 2 weeks or so, it makes it very challenging to stay optimistic, because I know school and my future part time job will take up at least half of my time, and my other half going who knows where. I hate wasting time, so that’s why it’s so important for me to really realize what I should be working on, like my blog and other writing projects. Things that will benefit me in the future.
In the end, I think that if I can get all of this under control, I can really make this trait into all benefits, but It’s a long road until then.
As an update on this post in 2020, I am still, if not more ambitious than before, hence me redoing my whole blog. Being this ambitious isn’t easy. I try to do everything at one, – Twitch stream, study, write, work out, etc. There sadly isn’t enough hours in the day to do everything I want, so I’m taking it step by step, and trying to focus on a few things instead of multiple. I’m not giving up, but with college, I really have to pay attention to not overwork myself, because my grades could drop, and I can’t afford for that to happen.
What are somethings you guys find annoying about being ambitious?